The Temple of Apple

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“Oh no, I don’t want to be a PC,” said the girl sitting next to me. She’d inadvertently logged into the Windows 7 install on the dual-booting 27″ Apple iMac she was sitting in front of. “I want to be a Mac.”

It was our first night at this particular class at OCAD. We were here to learn to use Adobe Illustrator. Moments earlier, I had watched her wander the halls with a look on her face that silently exclaimed, “Where the fuck am I supposed to go?” I’m sure I was wearing the exact same expression. To mirror her even further, I also had logged into the Windows instance on my iMac.

“Oh, you’re logged into Windows too?” asked the instructor, as she moved along the row of desks. There was a hint of disappointment in her tone. “That’s OK, you can use Windows or Mac, it doesn’t matter really.” I could tell what she was saying wasn’t what she was thinking.

It felt a bit odd to be sitting in a room full of Apple iMacs—the biggest, shiniest ones Apple makes—because earlier in the week, I’d listened to a This American Life podcast about one of Apple’s factories in Shenzhen, China.

In this podcast, Mike Daisey performs an excerpt of his one-man show, “The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs.” He tells of an iPhone that came off the line with its test pictures—pictures from inside the factory in which it was assembled—still intact, and how these images inspired him to find out more about how his beloved Apple products were made.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think Apple is any more or less evil then the myriad of other electronics-producing companies out there. They just make an interesting focal point because everybody loves their slickly designed products. In a time of economic hardships, their products fuel consumerism unlike anything I can personally remember (except for maybe the Cabbage Patch Kid craze of the 80s). But the factories that make Apple products make a lot of other companies’ products, too. Chances are, you own something that was made by Foxconn.

There is debate about whether or not companies like Foxconn are actually good for the people in the towns in which they operate their factories, but even so, I think it’s healthy to know where the stuff you buy comes from. I guess what it comes down to is this: I want to strive to be the smallest asshole that I can be. I think, if I’m going to be an asshole, I should at least recognize that I’m being an asshole. If my consumerism is being made possible by some 13 year-old girl working her little hands into carpel tunnel syndrome hell, then the very least I can do is not ignore that that’s happening. How could I possibly aspire to become less of an asshole if I don’t even recognize that I am one to begin with?


My boss found the podcast so interesting/moving that he lent me a copy of Shenzhen – A Travelogue From China, by Guy Delisle. It’s a graphic novel he adapted from the journals he’d kept during the 3 months he spent in Shenzhen. So far it’s really good. He’s also written one about Pyongyang, North Korea, which I think I will buy. I don’t think there are any 13 year-old girls slaving away at making these books, but I guess I should look into that.

Seamless Facebook Timeline Cover Image

I just tried creating a Facebook cover image that my profile image could integrate into. It was a little trickier than I thought it would be, mainly because I found that Facebook will shrink your profile image ~75% in order to create the cropped thumbnail that actually shows up on your profile page.

So, what I wound up doing was creating a cover image of the exact dimensions required (850 x 315) and then taking the bit that would act as the profile image, and blowing just that part up by 133.33%. Both images were then uploaded to Facebook. The result was close enough (click to enlarge):

Facebook Tabs and WordPress

I found this WordPress plugin which allows you to manage facebook tabs from WordPress:

http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/facebook-tab-manager/

I’ll have to investigate (AKA actually try it out), but I’m assuming this will make creating facebook tabs pretty easy.

Here’s a similar plugin I found, but much fancier (and I don’t think it’s free):

http://tabspresso.com/

Louis CK

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A group of us went to see Louis CK this weekend at the Sony Centre (apparently one of the city-owned properties that Rob Ford wanted to sell, but that’s another story..). I don’t really know how this happened, but Louis CK is really hot shit right now. Not like he just came on the scene, or something. He was one of those guys I’d see on late night talk shows, but no one really knew who he was and probably most people often got him confused with Lewis Black until fairly recently. I mean, they’re both kind of abrasive and angry and their names are kind of similar. OK, maybe it was just me, but that’s neither here nor there.

Here’s a clip of Louis CK doing stand up from fifteen years ago, just to prove I’m not full of shit:

But I guess that kind of thing happens. Here’s Zach Galifianakis, roughly 10 years before you heard of him:


My roommate and I laughed at that scratch ‘n sniff head shot joke for about a month after we saw it back in college.

Anyway, I guess the point of all this is maybe sometimes it takes a really long time to succeed, so you gotta keep on plugging away.

One thing that bugs me about going to big-name comedy gigs (this was only my second one, the first being Dave Chappelle at Massey Hall) is that there are always a bunch of douche bags in the crowd who apparently think they’re at a hockey game. These are the guys who seem possessed of the idea that yelling out in the middle of a joke is really funny and that maybe after yelling out, they’ll have the opportunity to high five their brothers from alternate mothers or something. This happened at both the Louis CK show and Dave Chappelle show, and both times the comedians were pissed off and more or less told the respective yeller-outters to shut the fuck up. I guess it’s not really a well known thing, but stand-up comedians rehearse their shit like theatre actors. Even though it looks like they’re just up there telling random stories, every word and pause and inflection is completely deliberate. If you watch the documentary Comedian, you’ll get a glimpse into what these people go through. So please, if you find yourself at a big comedy show with the urge to yell something out, don’t do it. I, and the 3000 other people in the theatre, paid $60 to hear jokes from a professional, not your drunken dumb ass.

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We went to Fran’s afterwards, because it was across the street.

WordPress Permalinks

Just for future reference, this is the syntax I typically use for custom permalinks on a new WordPress install:

/%postname%/

Testing blogging from ScribeFire

ScribeFire is a badass sounding blogging client.  It’s a Firefox plugin. https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/scribefire-blog-editor/

Nuit Blanche 2011

Checked out Nuit Blanche last night. I think it ran earlier in the year than it did last time around, but mother nature still managed to make it way too cold to be out in the streets all night. Nuit Blanche would really do much better in the summer.

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At the Gladstone. I wanted to sit in this, but thought better of it.

I wound up at some after hours bar at five in the morning. I’d never been to an after hours before. In my mind, I’d imagined after hours bars to be the kind of place filled with weird and sketchy people, high on all kinds of drugs. So when we got there, I was only mildly surprised to find the place filled with weird and sketchy people, high on all kinds of drugs. The walls were made of plywood, the washrooms had no doors, and people were SMOKING INSIDE. I found that stranger than the fact that people were doing lines right off the tables, in plain sight.

20111002-114522.jpgRandom people kept sitting down at our table, to chat and do lines.

I met a friendly fellow named Tyler who was wearing a top hat. He looked like a street magician, except the only trick he performed was speaking about 15 word per second. I imagine this trick was made possible by copious amounts of cocaine or some other stimulant. He seemed quite knowledgeable about the after hours scene. He told me the owner of the place was paying off the cops to keep the “business” running. At least, I think that’s what he said. It was a bit tricky to tell because allofhiswordswerecomingoutlikethis.

I think the take-away from all this is that people on drugs are pretty friendly, which make after hours bars a nice place to visit. But I wouldn’t want to live there.

Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin

I stumbled across a Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin album that was recorded in the 60s somewhat recently and been giving it some serious spin time on the ol’ iTunes. It’s all in French, so I don’t find it distracting when I’m trying to get some work done. It’s got such a great 60s vibe to it and makes me want to drink wine, smoke cigarettes and drive around on a Vespa, all at the same time.

Even though it’s all in French and I’ve purged all the Francais I’d learned in school since that time I fell asleep during a French exam in grade eleven, I’m pretty sure this album is all about bangin’.

I would not recommend playing that last one out loud unless you are surrounded by people who enjoying hearing a French woman having a fake orgasm, or, you’re trying to get into the mood for some bangin’.

Coffee and Pancakes

I finally got a french press to make coffee in quantities that I can actually consume. I do enjoy the taste of coffee, but can’t take too much caffeine.

Small bag of Dormans coffee I bought while I was in Kenya:

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I can’t say I know much about coffee, but this stuff tastes pretty great.

On the topic of great-tasting stuff, these banana/blueberry pancakes were pretty delicious:

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Alice had some French toast with some kind of fruit compote. I’ve only been twice, but OK OK Diner serves up some tasty food, and there seems to be less of a chance of a line up than some of the other more high-profile east end brunch spots.

This Ol’ House

Last week I decided to finally begin to undertake the task of getting my house into organized, usable shape, instead of keeping it looking like it does today. (Today, it looks like someone moved a bunch of stuff in, but instead of unpacking it all, the new tenants just decided to drink many cases of beer. It looks this way because that is more or less what actually happened.)

The first step in this process was to paint the second bedroom that would serve as my workspace. I haven’t tested this theory against any sort of metrics, but the lavender paint scheme the old tenants left behind just didn’t strike me as conducive to me getting a lot of work done. I have never done any interior painting before. I’ve seen my dad do it. I’ve also seen interior painting done by young couples in movies where they inevitably wind up painting each other’s noses playfully, right before having passionate sex. So it didn’t really seem that serious of a task. At the very least, I figured, it would be a learning experience.

The main thing I learned is that I suck at painting stuff. I had asked my boss beforehand how long he thought it might take to paint a bedroom. “3 hours?” was his guess. I’m pretty sure I have spent at least 8 hours and so far, only 1 of the walls is painted. There is also a big blotch of brown paint on the bottom of my foot. I’m not sure how it got there, but it won’t come off.

While I was waiting for that first coat of paint to dry, I googled “how to paint a wall”. It was at this point that I realized I did everything incorrectly and in the wrong order.

Anyway, I’m going to finish the room this weekend. The remaining three walls are all going to be the same colour, so how hard could it be, really?